A few nights ago I had a deep conversation with my oldest, Aykman. He will be 10 this August. He came to me and had a heartfelt conversation about his faith, this world and what he was seeing everyday. Aykman’s heart is so amazing! He told me he was having some challenges with advertisements and girls. GIRLS, I thought?! REALLY? But, I listened. Patiently.
If you know Aykman, you know how honest he usually is and how he strives to be a child of God. He does his school at home and he is so very intelligent and mature for his age. Last summer, he made the decision to be baptized at our church and since then, I have seen the Holy Spirit do some amazing work in Aykman’s heart and in his life!
Aykman’s concerns were totally legit. He recognizes we live in a fallen world and he also recognizes that God created him and gave him certain desires. Aykman has also made a commitment to God, to himself and to his future wife- to remain pure till he gets married. (How amazing is this!!) As our conversation continued, Aykman shared how he has been looking at girls and noticing that he is staring at them differently. He recognized that he doesn’t want to do this and he doesn’t want these images engrained into his memory. “But half dressed females are everywhere,” he said. “They are at the store, on billboards, at the pool, everywhere!” What discernment this child has! He had tears rolling down his eyes and I sensed there was some shame he was feeling. I comforted him and told him that most of what is happening to him is normal and the fact that his heart recognizes that he wants to be different and save himself is truly wonderful in my book! Then- I prayed with him and have continued to pray more about this every day.
Last night, something happened to me!
In the midst of everything, I was convicted. My level of modesty has never been high. I am learning that males are so very visual and images do remain in their memory. Although it is not my intention to gain attention from anyone other than my husband, I had to acknowledge that some of my own clothing is less than modest, including my bikini!
Aykman sees me in a different light and may one day use the foundation that I have provided for him as his mother, when seeking his own wife. What example do I want to send to my children about girls? The less clothing the better? I have been so wrapped up in my own preferences and not wanting “tan lines” in the summer that I completely neglected the image I am giving my own children.
Not everyone will believe as we do and not every mom will trade in their bikini for something more modest. But today I realized that this is no longer about ME. This is about something bigger! Something better– the example I want to set for my boys. My boys will already face enough adversity being Christians and living a life that is considered prude- according to society’s standards. I always have and always will stand with them- but now I will dress modestly- even at the pool!
Inspired by Aykman! ❤
“And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.” 1 Timothy 2:9 (NLT version)